Look Into Your Heart, You Know It To Be True

Over the last decade it has become harder and harder to be a Star Wars fan. With every new Star Wars product or piece of media that comes out it becomes more obvious: this is meant for kids. It saddens me. I feel cheated. I grew up loving Star Wars, and never thought the day would come when it would leave me with feelings of… ambivilance.

It happened right when I was on the cusp of adulthood: Episode I.

I remember looking forward to that movie more than anything else in my entire life (except for sex). I had a dream about it when I was only twelve, when the promise of a new movie was only a rumor. It seemed inevitable that one day, George Lucas would make the prequels, and it seemed equally inevitable that they would be good. How could they not be? Oh the bitter irony.

I remember the dream vividly. The movies were already out and I hadn’t realized it. I went to Steve’s house and he had them already on Betamax. I flipped out. I was angry with Steve and the ENTIRE WORLD for not telling me. THEY’RE OUT ALREADY!!?? I took the first one out of its box. It had a picture of Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan on the cover. I started to watch it. Obi-Wan and Darth Vader were fighting…and then I woke up, realized it was only 1994 and cried myself back to sleep.

On the VHS box set I got the next year (my grandma gave it to me for Christmas) there was an interview at the beginning, with George Lucas and Leonard Maltin. In it Lucas promised that he had already begun writing the script and that the movie would come out in either ’98 or ’99. I prayed to God that the Rapture wouldn’t happen until after that.


I literally did.

The irony… the bitter, bitter irony.

Over the past few years I haven’t really known how to feel about Star Wars. I had loved it so much, and now… I wanted to like it, but the prequels and the special editions, Han shooting first, midichlorians, and pod racing… I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sorry Star Wars, we’ve grown apart. I like movies like “No Country For Old Men” now. I don’t really have a place for you. You’ve just aged so horribly.

This is is how I felt up until a couple months ago when I saw something that changed my mind. It framed everything perfectly and gave me a way to categorize what I liked about Star Wars and everything I didn’t.

The original Star Wars trilogy= the best movie franchise ever concieved

The Special Editions + the prequel trilogy and everything else that came with it= utter horse shit

If you don’t agree with me, if you think that there are redeeming qualities about Episodes I,II and III, and maybe perhaps even like or enjoy them, just watch what I’m about to show you. It is unequivocally the most thorough dissection of the prequel trilogies in existence. It is also one of the most entertaining and thought provoking pieces of film criticism that I have ever seen. Here it is, Mr. Plinkett’s Star Wars Episode I review:


He also does reviews of Episodes II and III, both of which I highly recommend. By the end of the third review I was actually angry at George Lucas, for how lazily he seemed to approach basic movie making techniques such as camera placement, scene blocking and directing in general.

Watch, enjoy, and let me know your thoughts. I know most people don’t really care about Star Wars as much I do, but taken solely as a piece of film criticism it is both clever, funny and insightful.


~ by Darth Kenobi on May 5, 2011.

One Response to “Look Into Your Heart, You Know It To Be True”

  1. Per your recommendation I watched the review… I don’t know if I should be mad at Lucas, Plinkett or you.

    I was happy in my ignorance… I could even blame it on my sense of not really being interested in Sci-fi as a teen. But you have removed the mask off of Lucas’ snakey head and my heart has turned to stone.

    Lucas is a hack… Lucas is a hack!

    Thanks alot… sike!

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